All of these stories are 100% confidential. Therefore we do not use the individuals name and some names in the story may be changed for privacy reasons. If you have a story to send us please email email@example.com. Depending on the nature of the email we may reach out to you offering tools that will help you cope with the grieving process and/or the prevention of suicide.
I heard you speak at an event and I was truly inspired by your organization and the work you do to help save lives. From the information I learned I was able to help my brother who is 14 years old cope with depression that he was experiencing in high school. QPR all the way! thank you Sherrie. - 28 year old male
Thank you for giving survivors a chance to tell their stories and maybe help others out there who are at a complete loss as to how to help a loved one contemplating suicide. My story is truly much longer than what I've written, but hopefully, someone can learn from it. If you want to use my name, that's fine. I'm not ashamed. I've come through this the best that I could and still struggle with it every day. God bless, anonymous
I never really thought my husband would ever complete suicide. He had talked about killing himself, or just dying, off and on for several years, but when it actually happened, I was totally numb. It was as though it were happening to someone else. It took several days for it to set in. The fact that the suicide had made myself and my children the objects of hatred and criticism from my husband's side of the family was more consuming at first than his actual death. Taking care of probate and the ongoing madness with his family kept me from dealing with the loss for almost two years. I suppose I was like a robot for months. When I wasn't numb, the grief was overwhelming. I blamed myself, I blamed his family and I blamed him, but not necessarily at the same time. I went back and looked at his police file twice. I suppose seeing the photos of the suicide were better than not seeing his face at all and I searched through our old home and the file for answers to questions I couldn't find in his suicide note. Finally on the second anniversary of his death, I ended up in a treatment facility for depression. I had been harboring all the emotions for so long when they finally came to the surface, I couldn't deal with that much pain at one time. I decided then to burn his suicide note and never seek to replace the copy. I also decided to reach out to those in my community who lost loved ones to suicide. No one can ever imagine the pain, the guilt and blame we as survivors place on ourselves unless someone else have experienced it. To this day (it's been seven years), I still think of him, remember finding him dead and feel some anger due to my husband taking his own life. My children lost their home, their family and some friends due to this tragedy. I do have days when the pain seems as though it were recent and then there are days it seems as a bad dream.The American Psychiatric Association compares surviving a suicide the same as those who have survived a concentration camp experience. The emotional and physical damage is tremendous. There is one thing everyone should understand.....NO ONE places a gun in someone elses hand and says, "Kill yourself". It's a process of days, weeks and even years of depression that drives a person to suicide. It's not always death that a person seeks, it's the freedom from the hopeless and pain they are seeking to escape. In their mind, they can't find a solution. Death, is a way they are dealing with their pain and ending it. The possibility of seeing their life as normal and happy doesn't translate to them. Often, victims "fall through the cracks", as did my husband. Becoming involved and proactive with suicide prevention and awareness is the only way to help educate our society and help prevent more deaths. - Female from South Carolina- Kelley Rainey (she gave us permission to use her name)
A young girl sent in this testimony because she knew the young man that took his own life. You can read the news article by clicking here.
This 13 year old girl contacted us because she was being bullied. After we mentored her this is what she sent us:
Thank you so much. you made me feel so much better. Im honestly grateful that you took the time to talked to me. Thank you so much now i know i can do any thing.
January 20,2007 was one of the most shocking and devastating days for my family! We awoke to the phone call that we wished we would have never received! My father had committed suicide. At first we were in shock then the overwhelming feelings of sadness and disbelief flooded our minds! And then came a horrible tailspin of overwhelming grief and sadness that took me a year to moderately get over, although I will never forget or be completely healed or at peace, for I will always grieve over the loss of my Daddy. I loved him so much and miss him more than most cannot imagine and will always long for him as long as my existence on this earth continues. It was very hard to believe that someone who appeared to be so happy would go to such extremes to leave this world (and his family)! It seemed as if all was well in his life, there had recently been the birth of a second grandchild, his business was flourishing. We were unable to figure out as to why he would take his own life? Eventually we realized he was very unhappy, and had other issues that were apparently to much for him to handle within his own mind. I just wish we could have seen or understood what was going on with him. I truly do wish the hands of time could be turned back so that we could have the opportunity to help him with issues that were silently spoken within his own mind! One thing that I have learned from this is love hard while your loved ones are near for tomorrow is never a guarantee but just a hope within to be blessed with wonderful gift of being able to see there face , to wrap your arms around them, and to be able to pick up your telephone and hear there sweet melodious voice( that is all I have wished for since his departure from our lives and this earth).so be sure to love hard love much and remember to always make sure the people in your lives know they are loved and wanted(or needed should I say). And that is how suicide has effected my life! - Female
We received this statement from a young woman and we responded with advice and ways to cope with the grieving process:
You really have grown up to do amazing things sherrie! So proud of you! I love your charity...my cousin committed suicide 4 years ago in march. - Female from Illinois
There are so many times where I've thought that I didn't belong and I wasn't worth anything. My boyfriend and my friends have showed I am worth something! Sherrie I cannot thank you enough for this cause. So many people don't know how special they really are!
We received this statement from a young woman and we responded with advice and ways to cope with the grieving process. This is what she first sent us: I had a cousin who ended his life.. I personally don't know why but he is loved by so many and missed also.. love you Kenny wish there was more I could have done..
I am so thankful for people like you Sherrie. Starting the Live Out Loud Charity is a blessing to all of us out there. My son was dealing with depression and often talked about suicide but in a passive way. After hearing your inspiring speech I now knew what to do in order to help my son. I also learned that it is ok to feel scared but there are people to help me so I am really not alone in this battle. I can not thank you enough. The Live Out Loud Charity is a much needed organization. My daughter looks up to you and hopes to help others just like you do. Thank you for all that you do. My son is doing so much better now.
We received this statement from a woman and we responded with advice and ways to cope with the grieving process. This is what was first sent us: Had a Really good friend end his life just days after he stopped by my house one night to talk to me about adjusting to life after he broke up with his longtime girlfriend. I replay the conversation from time to time and wonder what i could have said to help more.
I have to write to the Live Out Loud Charity and say thank you. After hearing your speech I was completely moved. I couldn't help but personally give you a hug. The work you are doing to help others is tremendously appreciated. I had tears in my eyes and I felt that you connected with all of us in the audience. Thank you for sharing your personal story. It showed us that suicide can't be swept under the rug and we can break the stigma to stop this from happening. Continue to reach out because it touched us and I know it will touch countless others.
I had two friends in high school that killed themselves. I've always told my children that suicide is very selfish, which it is. But I have wondered for twenty-five years if I could have been a better friend. Sites like this educate people about the 'warning signs'; something we didn't have back then. Thank you Sherrie, for helping others to understand, and saving lives!
I have known people in the past who took their own lives and I think it's bad that they were that depressed and I never knew. Thank you for sharing your story and shedding light on this problem. I know that everyone has heard that suicide is just a permanent fix to a temporary problem and that if people would just talk about it more often maybe it wouldn't happen so much thank you again for doing this.
Sherrie you are doing great things... He thought his life had no meaning, but even in his tragic death his story is reaching beyond the grave through you, to help those suffering, make it through to see another day....he would be so proud of you, and I am too!
It's important to let people know that someone really cares when they think there isn't a soul that doesnt.
I want to do whatever I can to support this cause so I can help people that life is worth it. Congratulations and thanks for all the support for the live out loud cause! -LOLC model, IL
One night... a couple days ago I logged onto my facebook at about 5am. I hadn't slept that night because I stayed up all night organizing my bedroom. I had been slacking on my facebook messages because I was so busy so I thought I would log in to see what was happening. At that time I had a ton of friend requests and checked out one in particular. His friend in common with me was a Bollywood actress so I added him. Instantaneously he logged onto facebook and sent me a chat message. I replied. From there he proceeded to tell me he was depressed. I assumed he was reaching out to me because of the non profit organization I run called Live Out Loud Charity which aids in the prevention of suicide. I started to mentor him. I learned that he currently resides in India, had a business that failed which was making saari's and suits, and was extremely depressed. I shared my knowledge of God, used my QPR training, and helped him through this tough time. By the end of the conversation this is what he wrote me: "I want you to know that before I was talking to you, I was looking for easy ways to commit suicide on google. My computer was running slow so I logged onto facebook to pass time. I saw you were on so I told you I was depressed. I dont know why I did. By the grace of God you helped me. It is because of you that I have hope now. Thank you." I was shocked... even having lost a childhood friend to suicide and having faced many hardships myself, I was still shocked that people hurt this much... they hurt so much they want to end their lives. I was so grateful to God that I stayed up all night to happen to login to fb and be able to reach out to this person. This person, full of so much potential. He makes some of the most beautiful saari's in the world. The photos on his facebook of his creations were outstanding. His major concern was his failed business and if he should start back up again. He said he lost all hope. I explained to him that the greatest individuals that ever lived such as our inventors and leaders had failed countless times. They were spit on, discriminated against, put down, and looked down upon. But they kept going. Through perseverance and faith they made it. Once they had success everyone respected them again. He too can succeed, just like you, and just like me. Your business is only ONE aspect of your life, at the end of the day you are still a mother or father, brother or sister, possibly a caretaker, a friend, a believer, and so much more. I told him it will take hard work but to learn from the reasons that made his business fail the first time. After this mentoring he sent me those beautiful words. It is so scary to know that people come that close to taking their own lives, but this is reality. This is why I do what I do. Suicide and depression exist but if we take our moment to help someone we could each save a life. I had no idea how severe the situation with this individual was at the start of the facebook chat conversation and I am so grateful to God that I gave him my time. I thank God so much for allowing me to share my knowledge and for using me as an instrument for his word and love. Please take time out of your day to acknowledge someone in need... you never know how much they truly need you. Especially men, they have a harder time expressing their deeper emotions for fear of rejection and seeming unmanly. Please reach out and love each other. I thank this man for reaching out to me, I now have a friend in India. He says one day he will send me a fully stitched beautiful saari. Last but certainly not least I thank God.
best friends daughter shot herself in the head. my friend had a heartattack afteq it. It hurt me to see her go through this. RIP Christy.
This is an article just published a while ago with an example of a suicide attempt by a person right here in my town. Over the past year over 8 suicide attempts have been made on this same bridge right in my own neighborhood. Please read. ARTICLE: PERTH AMBOY — Perth Amboy police pulled a man from the Raritan River minutes after he jumped off the Victory Bridge in an apparent suicide attempt at the height of the snowstorm, authorities said today. At 2:13 a.m., an off-duty Middlesex County sheriff's officer reported finding a car stopped on the middle of the bridge, with the engine still running, Lt. David O'Donnell said. Officers found footprints in the snow leading from the car to the edge of the span, and when they looked over the side, they heard the man calling for help, O'Donnell said. The 32-year-old man from Old Bridge drifted east of the bridge, and came close enough to the shoreline for officers to reach him and pull him out near Riverview Drive, the lieutenant said. He was taken to Robert Wood Johnson University Hospital in New Brunswick, where he was admitted for treatment.
I survived my husband's killing of my 14 y/o stepdaughter and then turning the gun on himself completing suicide in 1991. Our 3 y/o son at the time and myself were to be included in his plan but we were taken out of the situation by a mutual co-worker for safety. Now, 20 years later I am a fully trained community education for QPR Question Persuade and Refer prevention program and also a co-facilitator of a Survivors of Suicide support group (1 of two in the entire state). I am a passionate advocate for suicide prevention and education and presently completing the Doctoral Program in Psychology that I may continue to educate the public overall and every community that SUICIDE is PREVENTABLE. Dispelling the myth that if we talk about it we perpetuate it - BREAKING the silence is the FIRST line of defense for friends, family and all others- from this traumatic ordeal! Learn the signs, signals, and resources in your community so that you are able to confidently respond should you be called upon by a person in crisis. God Bless you Tiara Magazine for supporting such a worthy cause!
I know what's like to feel low self esteem myself because I use to be tormented as a child not only by my peers in school but some of my family members as well. They use to tease me so bad and it would really hurt me and make me feel low of myself where I wanted to either change my looks I thought of plastic surgery and then I thought of suicide too after I got into a unhealthy relationship at the age 14 with a guy that not only tried to abuse me physically but he really abused me mentally. through out my years in high school I learned to find myself more spiritually and learn from god my mistakes and others mistakes also I had my mom who has been a strong positive force in my life also my grandmother another strong women that has been keeping me positive and faithful in not only god but myself and remove negativity out my life. I have been truly blessed and thankful for that and that's how I was able to appreciate myself no matter what others thought of me and I would like to encourage and inspire others to believe and appreciate god and their selves no matter how others feel or think just be blessed for the people that do love you and wants to help you and believe and feel god most of all wants to love and help you as well. I want to be there also for my little sister nieces,nephew all the people I adopted in my family and everyone around the world. although there are times when my mom grandma and even me gets discouraged at times I want to be strong for them as well as they as strong for me I pray everyone be strong and faithful for each other and help each other. -female & Tiara Model, age 29 chicago IL.